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Enjoy yourself! I know I will!

VS

When it comes to the world of internet climbing porn, it boils down to the well known collectives, vying for first place in the category of free, trashy climbing footage: Bass for Your Face and Louder than Eleven. Bass for Your Face decided to sit down with runner up Louder than Eleven to chat with them about their loss, Colorado, and other pressing issues such as whether or not their team captain needs to wear a nose guard while climbing.

BFYF: Thanks for taking time out of your busy, hectic schedules to talk to us.

LT11: No problem. The Lexus 2013 calendar photo shoot wrapped up early.

BFYF: Is Jamie Emerson just a pretentious douche or what?!

LT11: Well, he’s no Peter Beal.

BFYF: Touché. So Colorado’s pretty cool huh?

LT11: Of course. We moved here for rocks and the sweet Boulder clubbing scene.

BFYF: Have you ever walked down Pearl St with poop in a cup to throw at girls who didn’t tip you while you were bar tending?

LT11: Huh?

BFYF: Oh. Sorry. Wrong person. Anyway… How’s it feel to know, AND FEEL, that Bass’s 15 is superior to Louder than 11′s 11?

LT11: It’s bullshit. We are lulled into a sense of complacency by the girls out here. They are so skinny from all the hiking and anorexia dieting that 11 feels like enough. Even if we had 15, there’s no way they could take it.

BFYF: It’s not just a problem with the girls, it’s all east coast climbers. They all tend to be bigger. Look at the editor of DPM. He’s at least 270+…

LT11: Well, we’ve got the UC editor. Last we saw him, he got kicked out for abusing the all you an eat breadsticks and salad bar at Olive Garden.

BFYF: Wow. So it sounds like over eating and under eating is a problem in general, not biased by geography. Let’s talk about one of your recent videos, park life. Why in the world would ANYONE want to hear Max Zolotukhin’s philosophy on rock climbing? Didn’t he get starry eyed watching Kevin Jorgeson and Alex Honold soloing and went for glory himself and ended up being the subject of east coast ridicule, breaking his legs in the process?

LT11: He’s all we could get on such short notice. And we ended up using him as a crutch. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

BFYF: Uhhhh why don’t we handle the jokes from now on, thanks. Ok so Max Snapyourlegintwokins interview aside, we thought the video was pretty dope. Those animations! Those angles! Those boulders! You probably could have boxed that up in a neat little package and sold it. Why keep it free?

LT11: There’s something about paying for climbing movies that are forgettable and that end up on the shelf next to Inertia 2, Specimen, and Friction Addition, that makes you feel awful. And we don’t want to go down that road and wind up collecting dust on a shelf somewhere. We want people to be able to enjoy our productions that come from the heart and that aren’t for any financial gain.

BFYF: Just promise me that you aren’t going to be “free climbing media for the young and unruly” and start charging for your “stashed” videos of Carlo sending v4+.

LT11: We won’t, but isn’t it only $13 dollars a year? That’s like the price of a six pack…

BFYF: We have a drinking problem. That’s why this interview is happening in the first place. NEXT. How does it feel to be second fiddle to BFYF in terms of Internet “funniness”?

LT11: It’s ok, but I think we are catching up. Didn’t you catch that Max Zolotukhin crutch joke?

BFYF: true. Moving on… Why is it that whenever Dave Graham climbs it and Jamie Emerson blogs about it, it becomes a classic in Colorado?

LT11: That’s not entirely accurate… You never hear anyone calling the Fat Lady in Lower Chaos a classic do you?

BFYF: Um…. I guess not.

LT11: Colorado is the media hot bed. When you fart in Mt Evans, people in RMNP can smell it, and try to come and down grade it. Thats just the way it is. Some people here are a little more attached to ego than others. Plus there is no where else to climb in the summer so all the attention is focused here, positive or not. last time I checked, you guys were top roping all summer in the Gunks. What new problems were you putting up?

BFYF: You only wish you could top rope 5.11 allllllll summer long. PUH-LEEESE. And now the one word answer part of the interview. Who would you rather make out with, Andrew Tower or Andrew Bisharat?

LT11: Andrew Tower, cause he wouldn’t make you feel guilty about it in a blog post later. And he wouldn’t talk about Rifle the whole time.

BFYF: that was more than one word… whats harder: V8 or 7b+?

LT11: I don’t know. According to you, everything is V4+.

BFYF: Just trying to relate to the Colorado number chasing scene, via B3. We want to thank you for taking the time to be interviewed, and being such gratuitous losers. What can we look forward to from you guys in 2012?

LT11: Well, first off, we are going to pick up where we left off in the bed video with Natasha. And then we are going to find the DIAMONDS. And after, we are going to forget about Colorado Glow. Cause let’s face it. That was bad.

BFYF: Sounds GREAT! Good luck in your endeavors. We look forward to seeing your next piece of work. Keep on rockin in the free climbing media world.

well, this got sent this weekend. nbd. and thanks to paul jung’s excellent editing skills, the video is finished. Nightmare Feast. Check it.

old, semi new, and new random, unused footage of people sending, failing, and getting burned. can you spot the cameo from everyones favorite potty mouthed team jersey getting left behind in 2011, the year of the fail? can you spot the bald flying (falling) squirrel? can you spot the drunken snake master? all exist in this video!

ted climbs strange clouds.

PSYCH!

SURPRISE!!!!

Here’s a vid of most of the problems mentioned in the PRODUCTIVITY post. Lots of action, timelapses, swearing, failing, but lots of success, productivity, and perfect conditions.

Its perfect out there right now people. GO GET AFTER IT.

Well well well. Things are off to a surprising start here in 2012. After an eventful (not really) end to 2011, 2012 is shaping up to have a lot of momentum already. The collectives productivity has been quite high recently. Lets take a look…

Bismark Direct aka Pants on Fire was recently sent by this guy. So much for using “STUPID FUCKING HOOK” as an excuse. Welcome back to the A Team little buddy.

GROSS

Shortly after that, some mustached bandit decided it would be a good idea to hike the carrige road again, looking for new boulder problems. While the majority of people would call him crazy, us included, he turned up two excellent additions to the ever growing list of classic Trapps problems. Unfortunately for Mr. Gunksterpuller, he was snaked by two of his BEST FRIENDS and did not FA either of these AMAZING problems. Pouty Face.

Hope Springs Eternal

Naked Baby Time

Yesterday, the Large Vanilla took us to two of his lines that were put up at the tail end of 2011. Descendber and My Melty McFlurry aka MMM are proud, tall lines located in Found Town aka Lost City, and both deserve a mention here (despite having the send train run on them by Scotty B, Iceman, and myself. SORRY ANDY.)

My Melty McFlurry

And finally, heres a photo the Iceman workin on the new line “Slice of Life” that was put up yesterday at Found Town.

Slice of Life

If winter keeps this up, theres no stopping this string of productivity.