Dag, its been an impressive season!!! I mean srsly. When me and Dave first found this place, I was like “Dag.” and then Dave said “Dag” too. and then after that Chad made a video. Tag my fist.
Lets just recap:
Death Tripe (aka Left Handed Handjorbs)
Let the Ripe one in
Death Tripe Assis. (we don’t rename sds anymore. THANKS JENS. It seems USA climbers are more positive to turkoff nurkoff compared to European boulderers.)
Evil Backwards (anal reference.) FA Jason and Tim Danforth.
Tattooed Tampons FA Dave unreaped
So sykd. zormg.
Recently some other krews (not from the Island, but from another island… FYI. Weird, I know…) came to visit our rockhardrocks. Needless to say, it was pretty ghey. Dutch Rudders?.. no chance. OOO quick tag my fist. TAKE IT.
First up was Tim. He brought the man-boy rage we yearned for. Our teeth were sunk IN. He really left the bake sale and brought his man pants – AKA DROPPED THE TOP ROPE!. Here she made it to the summit, getting sloppy seconds on a lil rock face titled “Teaches of Peaches“. Tag my fisticles!!
(Gabe Dewit Pics)
Urp next was another new area to Lincoln Lake (insert “WHA WHA WHAT??, ’cause that’s you’re response to what I just said right back there at the beginning of the sentence). I MEANZ this must be like Hueco-Lincoln Woods-3xR! Shiz son, this place is for real. Like, dag. TOUCH MY FIST. How’d it feel?
Hmm awkward. Anyways. There’s this rig called “First Round First Menopause“. Daniel was close, but he doesn’t like this swing move cause his lion tat (shoulda been a wolf…) is on the other side and pics won’t capture it. Nalle wanted to do it but we said no. Silly guy!!!!
This rig is the tits. AND YOU CAN EVEN SEE LINCOLN LAKE IN THE BACKGROUND! Its beautiful right? Speaking of beauty n shiz, Debate/Jens: Whats the deal with goombs from the midwest and their prana costumes? Srlsy.
Peep the line though… the holds are Waka Flocka Flamer no kneebar direct CHOZZ
Zoinks! Look at this Lincoln Lake Giant! This one is gonna be Larger Than Hairball!!! *coughgagmeow*
Unfortunately, we couldn’t have our cake and eat it too (even though I like cake). Freakin Angie and Jackie and gurlz found out about our clubhouse. ENTER THE WOLVOgina. They won’t take it, nor tag the feist. Like Jamie said, why don’t they grab some brushes and develop their own areas?? Jeez. H8. Plus Phobos is classic. Wait what?
Dag ya’lls, its been reals. I’m looking forward to next season. Can’t wait to try “Project Dot Dot Dot”
(jjj) *fist bumpies!*