attn rock climbing:
GREAT SEASON EVERYONE. You all did REAWY good this year. I mean, seriously, huge progression: ”The worlds best crag,” just got its first 5.14+. NICE job Rifle!! Welcome to 1994. (Too bad it got downgraded immediately). Then, Tommy didn’t send, again. AGAIN. Jeez, do more CrossFit or something. Next, some metal kid named Adam added a boulder problem to the bottom of a route and “made” a 5.15. TOTALLY RAD. So syked on the traverse into the boulder start. 5.16 is JUST around the corner! In related news, I’m REAL psyched on the new v16 I get to try. SICK JOB other Adam. Glad to see the future of the sport lays in Adams traversing the base of sport crags. And lastly, hats off to everyone else for repeating everything, again. AGAIN. Like in Carlo’s interview with Bear Grylls, “my goal is to continue pushing the standards of bouldering in the world.” YEAH, making a career out of second ascents is REAL SWEET. But really, a big kudos to the climbing media (bassforyourface included) for NOT COVERING ANYTHING – because that was really the only appropriate action.
Lastly, STAY OFF MY LAWN YOU ROTTEN KIDS!!!