Corkscrew Roof LOW LOW aka THE ACTUAL PROBLEM

March 1st, 2013 by optimistic

First, there was the Stand. Then, there was the SUPER STAND (aka Alex Lowther’s attempted “contribution” to the Gunks). And now? WE HAVE THE LOW LOW. THE LOW DOWN. THE LAY DOWN LOWEST POSSIBLE DONT YOU EVEN FUCKIN THINK ABOUT STARTING LOWER KOOTS START.

 

 

YO YO YO YO

THE CORKSCREW ROOF FINALLY GOES.

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The Up and Down: Frost Ginas Post-Valentine’s Day video boom boom

February 15th, 2013 by Left Handed Hotdogs

Meadlowlark Lemon-Party?  C’mon son.  La Durka Durka??  UGH talk about anti-boner pills.  Ain’t no body got time for that.

Like a box of overpriced chocolates that mostly get spit out once you discover the insides, this clip is full of surprises.  And oh, don’t be bummed if it ends before you’re ready.  This video is always ready to go again and again.

Frost Ginas – Click for video

Or click here:  Frost Ginas

 

 

 

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down souf vol. 2.0 aka hypersouf

February 5th, 2013 by iceman

this trilogy’s next installment has it all! more shakey iphone video! more zones! more toe hooks above our heads! and even a cameo (read: more dudes)!

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down souf vol. 1.0

January 29th, 2013 by iceman

bassheads flee the cold for some southern comfort

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Andy and Nyle get serious on the “Cork Screw” Roof.

January 7th, 2013 by stuffedinurgirl

 

Psyche:   Check

Frigidity: Double Check

Hobo Campfire: Check

Whiskey Flask: Check

FA: Check it

 

and don’t be afraid to turn the quality up to HD.

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OMG Fast grabs!!!!!!

December 15th, 2012 by Left Handed Hotdogs

(In an effort to revive this dead blog, here is an draft post that never made it out alive.)  

“Flo and Jakob under pressure on the vertical wall, picking up their route against the clock with fast grabs to overcome the fast pitch.”

I for should like to make have healthy advertisements!  I are is transmit therein Google Translator.   All your climbings are belong to me!

Yaaaaaaaa C’mon YAKOB, grab must make grab more FASTAAHHHH!  YAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

 

I AM ALL IN!!!

 

… take

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Big UP FA: The Golden Rule aka Soft

November 10th, 2012 by Paul

Alex Lowther, Producer at Big UP Productions lands his 1st ever FA. Now we just need someone else to do it/grade it so he can call it SOFT and downrated it.

Enjoy the shitty video.

Kisses.

PJ

The Golden Rule from paul jung on Vimeo.

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La Durka Durka

October 19th, 2012 by Left Handed Hotdogs

People would ask me, “What route are you going to get on today?’

I would respond “la durka.”

They would say “which durka?”

And I would say “LA DURKA DURKA.”

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Reasons I’m glad and happy

October 14th, 2012 by slabdyno

So glad and happy I don’t have to climb shango again since its unrepeated.
So glad and happy I don’t have to climb salo salad toss sans syrup again since its unrepeated.
So glad and happy I don’t have to climb big sister again since its unrepeated. So glad and happy I don’t have to climb humility conteast again since its unrepeated.
So glad and happy I don’t have to climb extra bacon again since its unrepeated.
So glad and happy I don’t have to climb mustard sauce again since its unrepeated.
Guess I’ll sit back n think if there’s anymore reasons to be glad and happy

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The Abyss: A Review

September 18th, 2012 by optimistic

 

VERSUS

 

Recently, we here at Bass For Your Face got the chance to review the new Louder Than Eleven movie, “The Abyss,” LT11′s first foray in to real movie making. Excited to have received a “press kit” in an email from LT11 regarding their new movie, we quickly were extremely disappointed. The promo photos for the movie were all of rock climbing and there was not a single submarine, machine gun, alien, or ocean scene. When we subsuquently watched the movie, we were appalled at this re-make of the James Cameron classic.  Here we were all pumped to see Ed Harris look alikes descend into the deep, and instead we got a bunch of tossers getting all “epic” on the newest Colorado rawness.

Whatever.  This movie had everything you would expect from a Colorado bouldering video: gratuitous tick marks, drastic lowballs, easy looking v13′s, and Chris Schulte climbing compression problems. And it had NOTHING in common with the original Abyss. No submarines, no aliens, no Marinara Trench, and no crazy mustached dude suffering from the bends. VERY disappointing. It did have a distinct lack of Carlo Traversi, which we heartily applauded and made viewing more viable without any eyeball gouging and ear drum smashing. Cheers. We also thought we noticed a lack of women bouldering, until we saw that dude in the Adidas outfit. Even the original Abyss movie had at least ONE woman. And she was kind of a bad ass. SHE DIED. AND THEN CAME BACK TO LIFE.

There was also a clear un-Colorado element to this video: an attempt at community. Nice try fellas; you must be transplants. In case any viewers got the wrong impression that Colorado can be friendly and welcoming, check out the comments on lt11s Vimeo page or the discussion under the “ethics of development” thread over on b3bouldering.

Our favorite part of the video was were they told us how much work it is to develop and climb new boulders.  Aw! Poor guys! How tiring! Impressive efforts for sure; without which we would be low balling out some other granite turd.  Which brings me to our next point:  louder than eleven have proven that you can in fact polish a turd.  The amount of filler problems was staggering, but they showed how some fancy cuts and angles can make them enjoyable to watch.

What was also notable was it appeared that only Jon Glassberg was capable of anything over v10 . It’s cute how you saved all those moderate lines for your weaker friends… IS NO ONE ELSE OUT THERE CAPABLE OF SENDING THAT HARD? WHERE WAS DAVE WETMORE DURING ALL THOSE SENDS? HE CLIMBS V30 BLINDFOLDED WITH SOCKS ON HIS HANDS.

The climax of the movie was when Ben Spanuth (American Harry Potter/Adam Ondra wanna be) sport climbed a giant penis like feature at the top of a ridge. This was the only sport climb in a video that has the tagline “Americas Highest Bouldering.” Wait. What? The climax of the whole bouldering movie wasn’t a boulder problem? At least in the original Abyss movie, we got what we came for. ALIENS. Instead, we get a non fall, non wabbler ascent of a sport climb that no one will ever do again. Kinda like when Ed Harris went to the bottom of that trench to find aliens. NO ONES GOING TO DO THAT AGAIN.

Overall, this video was a step up from their last feature length flick.  Less Max and Carlo, more Dave Wetmore.  We might have a little crush… but seriously, a step up.  We liked the attempt at addressing some bigger issues beyond “why I climb”.  Congrats guys, and keep up the good work. Let’s just hope your next James Cameron remake involves Kate Winslets tits, or something comparable…

 

 

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